THE TWISTY, TWIRLY WREATH JOURNEY

Christmas this year is going to look a little different for us. For one of the last times (hopefully), work is going to take precedence as my boy and I both have hours to put in on Christmas Eve and he on Christmas Day. Granted, there have been years before now that finances, geography and marriage (have you heard how many family members we each have?) has stepped in the way of us visiting each and every loved one around this special time of year. But this year is the first time that we are not going to have the opportunity to see anyone until the middle of January. Woe is us! Right? It’s a good thing we like each other!

With that in mind, we headed into this Season of All Seasons with the plan of creating an environment in our apartment that left us with the feeling like Santa and his elves had moved in, set up camp and partied for a few days before heading out to deliver their brightly wrapped packages to me and the children of the world  – leaving piles of glitter and pine branches in their wake. But even with plans of sparkly grandeur dancing through my head, I had to keep in mind that our floor space would not magically accommodate even the most Charlie Brownish of trees, nor would our overhead cabinet storage hold host to many more strands of tinsel and baubles.

So. What to do? A wreath! Of course! And so the quest began. I stupidly thought I would run right out to the first tree stand and POW! find myself a beautiful wreath of robust pine branches and tasteful berries with the perfect price tag daintily attached. I could not have been more wrong.

First, there was the tree stand outside of Ann Taylor Loft. The trees smelled suspiciously of spray paint and the “wreaths”, shall we call them, were obviously cast off boughs inexpertly rigged together with wire. All for the bargain price of $50. Absolutely not.

After visiting more than a few similar stands in our neighborhood we ventured to a big box store where the wreaths were so bedazzled with faux frosted holiday cheer that I couldn’t help but wonder if a blind monkey had worked on those beauties in his spare time at the zoo. (No offense to the blind monkeys of the world. I’m sure you’re art projects are divine! Just not for me.) Anyway. As the days rolled by we tromped to store after store.

But there was always a problem. Sold out! Too pricey! Too shiny! Too tiny! And trust me, I was not being picky. In fact, at one point I had a wreath made entirely of silver bells in hand, ready to purchase. But thankfully my boy was there to ask the obvious question: Really? That’s your choice? Put down the jingling round of silver.

And as the days rolled by, I felt myself drooping. All I wanted was a little bit of Christmas to come home to at the end of a long day. I wanted to open my door to the smell of pine, the shine of twinkle lights and the explosion of CHRISTMAS in my living room. And then I struck mind grape gold when I thought – Amazon.com! So late one night my boy and I huddled over the computer and picked out the most beautiful wreath filled with branches and crystals and holiday happiness. We even splurged on overnight shipping. Done and done!

Well, you can imagine my boy’s SHEER PANIC when the box was delivered yesterday while I was out and the wreath was SMASHED TO SMITHEREENS. Allegedly the UPS delivery man actually cringed when he handed over the box, noisy with rattling pieces of a broken Christmas dream. (Cue the heart-wrenching music crescendo.) And as my lovely husband opened the lid of that box I guarantee the thought Shit, she’s gonna freak! ran like ticker tape across his forehead.

But that’s when the Christmas miracle happened… By the time I made it home that evening from work, our house was filled to bursting with the fresh scent of pine from the absolutely STUNNING wreath hanging on our wall. Compliments of a husband who would do anything for my happiness, with the help of the local florist.

Now, why didn’t I think to do that in the first place?

(Photo by Annie)